Trust
People are often afraid to give first. Instead, if we receive something, then we trust (at least for that transaction) and give in return. This method is common when dealing with material goods: you pay money, and you receive a specific product or service. It's a clear-cut transaction. With relationships though, it's not that simple. We deal with ideas, emotions, and human flaws rather than material goods. You can't put a price on them. It's more the art of love than the business of trade.

A sure way to establish trust is to give first and keep giving. Critics condemn this approach, because they think it sets you up to be "taken" or to be a victim. Sure, caution is a good rule of thumb, especially in business. But if you are with someone and believe that the relationship has potential, then start building trust. You'll discover soon enough if that person is willing to reciprocate. Without trust, a relationship lacks a solid foundation. This approach can also deepen existing relationships.

Honesty
With trust comes honesty. To have someone with whom you can be open and not fear ridicule is very healing. Plus you can be honest yet kind. The saying, "The truth hurts," may be true. But sharing the truth in a loving way makes it hurt much less.

In contrast, the corporate media — another powerful social influence — has developed to where the truth isn't important: it treats "spin" (lying) as if it were a reputable practice. And in business, white lies are an everyday practice — buyer beware. Denying, distorting, and stretching the truth, though, are anti-spiritual behaviors. Openness is what allows spirit to flow through us, and that's what makes us real. Spirit is truth.

Depth
Relationships have two broad layers: the secular and the spiritual. A relationship founded strictly on materialistic principles can work, but relative to a spiritual union, it will lack depth. They can be deep and loving, but without the spiritual element they will remain two-dimensional. Yet, love is love and, in itself, can carry us beyond finite, existential boundaries, even if we have imposed those limits ourselves. Add the spiritual dimension, which incorporates and transcends the material world, and you have an infinite plane on which to play. With this additional dimension, together you can explore beyond the limits of the human animal.

Support
To support others, particularly psychologically, we need to see past our wants and needs. Of course we don't ignore our needs; we just don't allow them to hypnotize us. To be effective, we have to be present — live in the Now — and observe and hear others. When they are suffering or need help, we go to them. Support also means to accent their positive qualities and to deal positively with their weaknesses. Communicate. Don't hold back love & support.

Applying this to children isn't that easy. Take the two popular approaches: "Spare the rod, spoil the child" and "Give the child everything." While the former is often repressive, the latter lacks limits — something inherent in all nature. When taken to extremes, both can be damaging. As an analogy, imagine life as a river. Without banks to guide and contain it, the water spreads out, becomes weak, and stagnates. On the other hand, if the banks are too narrow, the energy of the river can become too pent up. It will turn violent when it's stressed. The middle way — some boundaries, some freedom — is the best we can do.

Compromise
For a relationship to develop, compromise is necessary. At some point, what you want (or don't want) will clash with what the other person wants (or doesn't want). To keep a union healthy we sacrifice to some extent our less important likes or dislikes, and we take a stand on the more important ones. ("Important" is whatever we make it.) Even if we disagree on important issues, we can usually find a compromise if both parties have the patience to work through it.

Patience
Impatience is often the ego saying, "I'm very important, and you're slowing me down." It shows that we aren't living in the Now. With patience, we solve problems. We keep a clear head, reduce friction, and, with a little wisdom, find the most balanced solution.

Repentance and Forgiveness
Everyone acts poorly from time to time. The easiest way to heal this is to say, "I'm sorry," and mean it. The more stubborn the ego, though, the more difficult it is to say. The other side of this is forgiveness: if someone asks for it, give it freely. Only the ego holds grudges. Ego, by the way, differs from natural pride. Ego is a vision of how one is better than another. Pride is appreciating how beautiful we are inside — unique and beyond compare.